You hate your job but you you can’t bring yourself to leave.
You tell yourself you have to think about your family. Your kids will be in college soon. You need the stability of a paycheck. You drag yourself to work, put your time in and try to decompress on the commute home. By the time you walk in the door, you’re toast. You’ve given up on that side-hustle you started because you don’t have the energy or the time.
I call bullshit. You don’t have the energy because you’re in a soul-sucking job you hate. It crushes you every morning and every night. Binge-watching Netflix gives you an escape until the next day. By the time the weekend rolls around, all you want to do is NOTHING.
There are other jobs out there. If you want to work for someone else, the best time to look for a new job is when you have one. You worry you’re too old; you don’t have a current resume, or you let your skills slide.
Fear does that. You’re not too old. You can learn new skills online. Hire a professional to write your resume – it’s amazing how many skills and strengths you take for granted. Let a pro help you uncover them.
A well-chosen career change can give back the time and energy you need to work on that side hustle again. Work toward building something that will make you happy in the long term.
A job search might sound overwhelming – but not nearly as overwhelming as being unhappy for the foreseeable future.
Life to so short to let fear control you.
What’s holding you back? I’d love to help.
A few days ago I talked about the fear mindset and how it can really hold you back. The antidote to that of course is action. But once you get into action mode, the next step is perseverance. I’d like to introduce you to Naomi Dunford, someone I absolutely love. She’s genuine, swears like a sailor, and has been there – done that. Please take a minute to read one of her latest posts. What is it that you’re putting off?
Sometimes you just have to tell yourself to shut the FUD up – FUD, meaning Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt…
Fear can paralyze the most ambitious people and plans. In and of itself, fear isn’t a bad thing, it keeps us safe by alerting our senses to real danger – a bad vibe from a stranger, standing too close to the edge of a mountain (without a harness) etc.
HOWEVER, when the fear is based on all the “what-ifs” in your head that will probably never happen – and if they did happen, certainly wouldn’t kill you, it just keeps you stagnant. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of looking or feeling silly. It’s your built in protection, but in these cases, it just doesn’t serve you… If you don’t address the fear, you can easily find yourself in a vicious cycle of self-sabotage.
Learning to move beyond it takes commitment
First – Don’t fight the fear. It only makes it worse. Acknowledge it and take away its power. Understand that you have a fear, and also that it’s only a thought in your head, a feeling in your body. What you are fearing has not happened. What you’re feeling is a chemical reaction in your brain. The perfect example is a scary movie or a motion ride. Your brain reacts as if the events were actually taking place. Your heart beats faster, you may break out in a sweat, your stomach tenses. That’s the power of 100 BILLION nerve cells at work.
Second – Reprogram your mind. If you find yourself feeling those fear symptoms as you’re contemplating something new like a career change, starting new business, relationship etc. immediately start thinking of something pleasant, a vacation, your favorite food, all the good things that would be a result of the change. Another option is to use a positive affirmation. That will help stop the current chemical reaction induced by fear and replace it with a different process the helps transition the brain out of fear mode. Make this a habit.
Third – Add action. Even if it’s miniscule, DO something. Take one step towards making your decision or trying something new and then do it. It may sound too simple, but your thoughts have the most power over your life. Make sure you’re creating a mindset that serves you rather than one that leaves you parlyzed with fear. It’s a very empowering skill to master.